Editor’s Note: During the early December annual convention of the American Association of Equine Practitioners in Albuquerque, N.M., American Farriers Journal staffers took three people who were very close to Burney to lunch:
?Baker Chapman, a full-time horseshoer in Lubbock, Texas, and the youngest of Burney’s four sons.
? Tom Curl, a farrier from Vero Beach, Fla., who learned from and worked alongside Burney on many laminitic cases over the years.
? Dr. George Platt, an equine veterinarian now living in Eagle, Colo., who in the 70s and 80s worked alongside Burney in pioneering the work with laminitic horses.
From over 100 “Burney-Isms” which they laughed and reminisced about over lunch, here are the “best-of-the-best” from his shoeing career:
“That shoeing idea didn’t work 40 years ago and it isn’t working today.”
“Shoeing knowledge is like a pile of manure. If you’ll leave it alone, it will kill the grass. If you spread it around, everything does better.”
“That coffin bone was as black as a coal miner’s butt.”
“That guy’s shoeing mistakes have made me a bunch of money over the years.”
“I’ll meet you at D ‘gosh-darned’ FW (Dallas Fort Worth Airport) and we’ll ride that American buzzard (small American Airlines plane) back to Lubbock.”
(Whenever Burney entered a room, he’d always say) “How are all you cowboys and cowgirls doing?”
“It’s just one more thing to sell to the American public.”
“It’s the same old, same old broken record.”
“That mare is uglier than homemade soap.”
“All those hoof greases do have a place. Just rub some of them on your boots before going hunting in the fall.”
“It’s monkey see, monkey do in the shoeing business.”
“That guy has never fixed a darn thing on the foot of a horse.”
“Sure I’ll help you with that horse. Here’s the telephone number for the meat wagon.”
“Aw shucks, honey, your horse is going to be all right.”
“I’ve had worse things than that on the end of my big toe.”
“These people are trying to reinvent the wheel.”
“I go more places in a week than some people go in a lifetime.”
“He’s got his hat on backwards if he thinks that idea is ever going to work with that horse.”
“That guy wouldn’t last 3 days with a wagon team of horses or he’d be heading home from a trail ride after 3 minutes.”
“That so-called expert don’t savvy the burro.”
“Just what we need—another horseshoe pad.”
“Don’t call me, I’ll call you on my nickel.”
“That guy has set back founder treatment by 50 years.”
“Have you ever hesitated on the porch before you go in the door?”
“When it comes to training horses, he’s worse off than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest.”
“Put that in your pipe and smoke it.”
“He’s dumber than a box of rocks or a bag of hammers.”
“He’s more full of manure than a tree full of owls.”
“He’s soaking it all in, so there’s still some hope.”
“When it comes to college degrees, a BS is just like it sounds. A MS is more of the same. A PhD means piled higher and deeper.”
“I don’t know why the government had to go and mess up the phone system. They can’t even deliver the mail.”
“It was more fun than a train wreck.”
“That guy wouldn’t know horse manure from wild honey.”
“Right now, I’m hungrier than a tied-up dog.”
“I’d say he’s about 9 days older than baseball.”
“I cut the foot some more and that darned horse is still lame.”
“Call Tom Curl to shoe that foundered horse for you. He’s only 50 miles down the road.” (Actually 355 miles away.)
“This horse is so lame he couldn’t run fast enough to scatter his own manure.”
“That foal was so ugly the vet spanked her mamma when she was born.” “That horse is eating, so he’ll get up.”
