How are you?

Most reply reflexively with fine or good. It’s a polite response. You might not want to burden someone with what’s really going on. Of course, you might not want to talk about it yourself. Then again, how many people truly want to know how you are?

“We all do it,” says Jim Apple, a Navarre Beach, Fla., farrier. “We ask, ‘How are you doing?’ The answer is, ‘I’m fine,’ but we can all see something’s going on. Most don’t want to talk about it. It’s hard to have the hard conversation.”

You’re Not Alone

It’s difficult to talk about for those who are struggling, as well as those who are willing to listen. It’s uncomfortable. And that’s OK. What’s important is you’re not alone, and there are people who genuinely ask, how are you?

“If you ask someone how they’re doing, stop and listen,” says Steve McConnell, a Niagara Falls, Ontario, farrier. “If you don’t want to stop and listen, then don’t ask how they’re doing. When I come up to you and ask, ‘How are you doing?’ I’m going to wait for an answer.”

Why is it important to McConnell? He suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder after his military service. He developed a drinking problem before getting professional help. And McConnell knows he’s not alone.

One-in-five people experience mental illness annually. One-in-20 experience serious mental illness each year. While these statistics from the National Al­liance on Mental Health measure the general population, they don’t represent those…